I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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