You're a womanizer and a bitch.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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