He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize