i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
A bitchslap is in order.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
