I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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