I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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