how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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