dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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