some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
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You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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