Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
