Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
