there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
