Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
