i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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