im drinking this country out of the recession.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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