I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
