We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
