; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
