i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
