once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
