My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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