why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize