dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You work out of a Hotel?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
thus making me awesome and them whores
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
