I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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