FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
