just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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