I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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