check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
