I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
