i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
