Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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