He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
