did you get engaged???
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We need to rekindle our bromance
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
