Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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