I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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