Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
