Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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