bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
