I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Even my vagina gasped.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
