So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
