Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Randomize
