so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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