And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
no you cant smoke seaweed
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
