im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
my poor anus
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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