I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she smelled like a LAN party
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
