You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
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I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
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yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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