i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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