dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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