I CAN MOONWALK!
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I am available for nakedness
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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