I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
