dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
