Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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