she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
