I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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