Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
