HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
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Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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