Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
