what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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