God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
