Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
