There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
